• psybms2018


Updated: Jan 28, 2021

Do you find yourself living a life of “status quo” but not sure how you got here, and it’s painfully miserable?

You become someone that someone told you should be. Continually striving to fit into the mold of “super mom” or “corporate drone,” capable of doing it all with the fancy house, car, parties, kids and you should live happily ever after.

But it’s not working.

You want more.

Something different. Something you can look back on and be proud of.

A legacy.

Something that would outlive you.

Why? Because you don’t want to live the same year 80 times and call it a life.

You want to do something that matters, for you and the world. You want to make a difference in a child’s life, in a stranger’s life, and in your own life.


You want to stop concerning yourself with what others think or care about and focus on ideas that matter to you, your beliefs you can stand by.

If you do what everyone else is doing, that’s not authentic. Period. 

But at least you feel safe and secure, right? 

You’ll know what comes next because it’s been done before, a million times…. by everyone else. 

But what’s the point in living in comfort if it comes at the cost of your dreams?

This was me four years ago. Like many of you, I had this feeling deep inside I should be doing something different, something that inspired me, something that filled my heart and that I could help others, but I couldn’t figure out what "IT" was?

Not realizing it then but the Universe was sending me signals, but I wasn’t paying attention.

Long story short, I had a couple of life-altering events that woke me up.

One, my sister passed away unexpectedly. She had health issues but nothing that gave us any warning she would go so quickly.

The other surprise was my current employer.

After my sister passed, I received cards and flowers expressing condolences from friends, colleagues, and even my husband’s employer.

But nothing from my employer of five years. I thought it was odd.

When I arrived back to work after traveling to the east coast for my sister’s services my boss asked me to come to her office.

I went in thinking she and my employer were, a little late but will offer their condolences.

When I got in her office, she did ask me how I was doing and small talk for about 10 minutes then she said that HR would "need a copy of my sister’s death certificate.


She went on to say it was policy.

Policy…what kind of policy is this.

I’m mourning the loss of my sister. What are you asking me?

Basically, you want proof that I’m not lying about my sister’s death because I needed to take time off.


I honestly freaked out.

What an insensitive, thoughtless company that didn’t take the time to send a sympathy card has the BALLS to ask for my sister’s death certificate.

No! not balls…. because I associate balls with someone that does something most of us are afraid to do. Like someone that has the guts to go skydiving.

This was just cruel!

Who the hell am I working for?

These are not my values. This is not how you treat people.

This feels so wrong.

That was my breaking point — in the best possible way.

Time to change my life.

To be honest, this wasn’t the first time the company disappointed me. There were plenty of other times, but I was playing it safe. I was collecting a paycheck and knew how each day would play out.

It’s mind-blowing how many of us trade the chance to be fully alive for the seemingly safe harbor.

Fear will do that to you……I was afraid…..

That is when I decided, as a life and business coach, I will help women who feel stuck or frustrated in their lives to have the confidence to go against the grain, live the life they were meant to live, to be someone who did something unique, has experiences and no fear. 

So…..what’s the moral of this story?


Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!~ Rosalind Russell From my favorite all-time movie - Auntie Mame.

So, go…..Make a movie, go back to school, start your dream business, leave that sucky relationship, run a marathon, hike a mountain, learn to scuba dive, go to the airport and pick a destination once you get there…

Do something, ANYTHING to give your life meaning, to make yourself feel alive, so one day you can tell your kids about it or maybe write a book.

You won’t regret it. I promise.


Barbara Murphy-Shannon is a Mindset Business Coach for Women Entrepreneurs and Leaders. She puts out a weekly blog/email with content to inspire you to be the best possible version of yourself, offers workshops, free resources, and online courses. Barbara@barbaramurphyshannon.com