• psybms2018

7 Secrets Every Woman Should Know

Updated: Feb 26, 2020

1.Only You Can Make Your Life Rock

Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you can and can’t have, be or do. Only you can decide that. If you want it bad enough, you’ll do it. You’ll have to do it… You can't rely on anyone else. Not your husband, not your friend, not your sister or mother.Only you can do the work to make it happen. Take a more in-depth look at your life. What are you doing that mattered in this world? How can you do more? What’s your purpose? Your calling?

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”. – Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t make the mistake of waiting, thinking about your ideas, or endlessly planning. Action leads to your dreams. We all would feel better if we had a guarantee that it will all work out, but that’s impossible and a waste of time. Keep moving forward. Stop wasting time. Develop a plan. Implement the plan. Reflect on the plan and adjust…repeat!

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover”. - Mark Twain

2. What are you willing to give up to have what you want? Going after your dreams will always cost you something.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”~ Albert Einstein.

For example, I knew I would have to give up some weekends, social events and watching tv at night with my hubby when I decided to go back to school and start my coaching business. Did I miss my free time…hell yea. But the outcome will be worth it.

Make sure you’re doing the things that will give you the greatest impact in your life and where you want to go. Only you can decide what that is. Only you can stick to your priorities. But if you don't know your priorities, you'll be wishy-washy when someone invites you to do something you really don't want to. When you know your priorities, there is no question. The answer is either yes or no. 

3. Take care of Yo Self. 

The reality is that our world can be incredibly challenging for women. We are determined to be educated, professionally and personally successful, sexy, and available to everyone in our lives. We are as they say, “doing it all”. If we ever stop to catch our breath and look around, we may find ourselves in a place we don’t like.

No downtime leads to average work, more stress and depression. You need to schedule time for yourself because no one else will. Put it on your calendar. Get a manicure, take a walk in nature or go on a women’s retreat.

Retreats are about going deeper and create an opportunity for us to explore new ways of being and to consider changes we might want to bring into our lives. When you go on retreat, you are often seeking a new perspective. You’re making a statement about investing in yourself. Women are retreating to places that often support them in places of questioning their life's purpose, or an aspect of their life – like their spirituality or wellness.

Some go on a retreat to get a fresh view on their career paths, let go of habits or self -limiting beliefs or even seeking answers to heal life's challenges. Women are retreating for so many reasons, but the trend in women taking retreats is certainly a sign that we are finally learning to give back to ourselves in real and meaningful ways.Invest in yourself. Give your body and brain the self-care it needs. Check out my upcoming retreatson my website.

4. Change Your Beliefs.

I know this stuff is hard, but I believe in you. Your ego will make up stories that tell you to stay small. You will believe these stories and think they are as set in stone. But that whole story you make up about not being good enough or not knowing enough or not (fill-in-the-blank) enough is just that, a story.

Your ego learns to tell you why things are dangerous as a child to keep you safe, but this no longer serves you as an adult. Thoughts of failing feel dangerous, but they are not in fact, dangerous. Thank your ego for keeping you safe as a child and release it as your adult self.

You have the power to shift your beliefs at any age or moment in your life. You’re going to have to let go of old, limiting beliefs and cling to your decision to create a life you crave like your life depends on it. Because guess what? Your life does depend on it.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”.  ~Maya Angelo.

5. Kick Self-Doubt To The Curb.

The transition from wanting something to actually going for it can be the difference between failure and success, and according to bestselling author Jen Sincero, who wrote You Are a Badass. How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life”the number one thing that holds us back from change is ourselves.

Our self-doubt has a way of psyching us out, convincing us that we don’t have what it takes to get what we want out of life. Self-confidence is like a muscle; the more you use it and believe that you really can achieve whatever you put your mind to, the easier it becomes to have the strength to do even newer, scarier and more exciting things.

6. Perfection does not exist.

What do I always say about perfect....it doesn't exist? 

Doing is better than not doing. Showing up is better than not showing up. Whether it's your website you're not ready to post or the trip you want to take after you lose the last ten pounds or a business you want to start but you need to do more research....just start. Now. Do it and do it proud. Be ruthless, put on your big girl pants and stop the excuses. You don't know what tomorrow will bring so why wait.

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still" ~Chinese Proverb

7. Be Present

How often do you find yourself thinking about other things either in the past or future, looking at our phones when you should be in the moment, you're in. We miss incredible opportunities when we allow our attention to go somewhere else.

Next time you start thinking about the past or future, ask yourself if you are missing what is happening right now, the people you're with won't be here forever and that moment can never be replicated....be present.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. ~ Lao Tzu


I hope these 7 secrets will bring you a new perspective in your life and how you want to live it. When I decided to change careers in later life, it was very scary, and I doubted myself all the time, but I kept moving forward. I love helping women who feel stuck or frustrated in their lives to have the confidence to go against the grain, live the life they were meant to live, to be someone who did something unique, has experiences and no fear. 

So…..what’s the moral of this story?


“Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!”~ Rosalind Russell

So, go…..Make a movie, go back to school, find your dream job, leave that sucky relationship, run a marathon, hike a mountain, learn to scuba dive, go to the airport and pick a destination once you get there…

Do something, ANYTHING to give your life meaning, to make yourself feel alive, so one day you can one day tell your kids and grandkids about it or maybe write a book.

You won’t regret it. I promise.

With Gratitude and Love,



Shop Not Your Average Graphic Tee Click here

Barbara Murphy-Shannon is a Mindset Business Coach for Women Entrepreneurs. She puts out a weekly blog, offers workshops and retreats. barbara@barbaramurphyshannon.com


P.S.If you’re interested in finding out more about my coaching programs or retreats, please send me an email.