How to Be Happy: 7 Simple Strategies for Ambitious Woman with Big Dreams.
1.Only You Can Make Your Life Rock
Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you can and can’t have, be or do. Only you can decide that. If you want it bad enough, you’ll do it. You’ll have to do it… You can't rely on anyone else. Not your husband, not your friend, not your sister or mother. Only you can do the work to make it happen. Take a more in-depth look at your life. What are you doing that matters in the world? How can you do more? What’s your purpose? What will make you happy?
Don’t make the mistake of waiting, thinking about your ideas, or endlessly planning. Action leads to your dreams. We all would feel better if we had a guarantee that it will all work out, but that’s impossible and a waste of time. Keep moving forward. Stop wasting time. Develop a plan. Implement the plan. Reflect on the plan and adjust…repeat!
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover”. - Mark Twain
List 1or 2 things you can do this week to rock your life? What have been putting off?
Carpe diem: ___________________________________________________________________
2. What are you willing to give up to have what you want? Going after your dreams does not come without sacrifice.
I knew I would have to give up some weekends, social events and watching tv at night with my hubby when I decided to go back to school to get my master’s in psychology and start a coaching business. Did I miss my free time…hell ya. Was it worth it? Double hell ya!
Make sure you’re doing the things that will give you the greatest impact in your life and where you want to go. Only you can decide what that is. Only you can stick to your priorities. But if you don't know your priorities, you'll be wishy-washy when someone invites you to do something like go to a movie when you know you should really be spending time on building your business. When you know your priorities, the answer to any question is either yes or no. Make life easier on yourself and be happy.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein.
What is one thing you are willing to give up so you can have what you want? Netflix at night? vanilla mocha latte? Not eating out as much?_________________________________________
3. Take care of Yo Self.
The reality is that our world can be incredibly challenging for women. We are ambitious and determined to be well educated, professionally and personally successful, sexy and in shape, available to everyone needs and be happy doing it. We are as they say, “doing it all”. If we ever stop to catch our breath and look around, we may find ourselves in a place we don’t like. No downtime leads to average work, more stress and unhappiness.
Try to schedule time for yourself because no one else will. Put it on your calendar. Get a manicure, take a walk-in nature or go on a women’s retreat. Retreats are about going deeper and create an opportunity for yourself to explore new ways of being and to consider changes you might want to bring into our lives. When you go on retreat, you are often seeking a new perspective. You’re making a statement about investing in yourself. Women are retreating to places that often support them in places of questioning their life's purpose, happiness or an aspect of their life (spirituality or wellness).
Some go on a retreat to get a fresh view on their career paths, letting go of habits or self -limiting beliefs or even seeking answers to heal life's challenges. Women are retreating for so many reasons, but the trend in women taking retreats is certainly a sign that we are finally learning to give back to ourselves in real and meaningful ways. Invest in yourself. Give your body and brain the self-care it needs.
How are you going to take better care of yourself? What are you going to schedule for yourself? Yoga class, manicure, a hike?
4. Change Your Beliefs.
I know this stuff is hard, but I believe in you. Your ego will make up stories that tell you to stay small. You will believe these stories and think they are set in stone. But that whole story you make up about not being good enough, not worthy of happiness or not knowing enough or not (fill-in-the-blank) enough is just that, a story.
Your brain learns to tell you why things are dangerous to keep you safe; it’s called the amygdala and it has protected humans for 1000’s of years but this no longer serves you. Thoughts of failing can feel dangerous, but they are not in fact, dangerous. Thank your brain for keeping you safe and move forward. You have the power to shift your beliefs at any stage or moment in your life. You’re going to have to let go of old, limiting beliefs and cling to your decision to create a happy life you crave like your life depends on it. Because guess what? Your life does depend on it.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”. ~Maya Angelo.
What’s one limiting belief you’re ready to let go of? I am enough. I am worthy. I can do this.__________________________________________________________________________________
5. Kick Self-Doubt To The Curb.
The transition from wanting something to actually going for it can be the difference between failure and success, and according to bestselling author Jen Sincero, who wrote “You Are a Badass. How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life” the number one thing that holds us back from change is ourselves. Our self-doubt has a way of psyching us out, convincing us that we don’t have what it takes to get what we want out of life. Self-confidence is like a muscle; the more you use it and believe that you really can achieve whatever you put your mind to, the easier it becomes to have the strength to do even newer, scarier and more exciting things.
Ready to be a badass and use your confidence muscle? What are you going to do? Call that guy and ask him out, Make that appointment to see the CEO, Public speaking ____________________________________________________________________________________
6. Perfection does not exist.
Doing is better than not doing. Showing up is better than not showing up. Whether it's your website you're not ready to post or the trip you want to take after you lose the last ten pounds or a business you want to start but you need to do more research.... just start. Now. Do it and do it proud. Be ruthless, put on your big girl pants and stop the excuses. You don't know what tomorrow will bring so why wait.
"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still" ~Chinese Proverb
What’s one thing you have been working on that is good enough….time to show the world. Start dating while you’re getting healthy? start telling people about your business idea? submit that proposal to your CEO?
7. Be Present
How often do you find yourself thinking about other things either in the past or future, looking at your phone when you should be in the moment, you're in. We miss incredible opportunities when we allow our attention to go somewhere else.
Next time you start thinking about the past or future, ask yourself if you are missing what is happening right now, the people you're with won't be here forever and that moment can never be replicated....be present.
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. ~ Lao Tzu
How are you going to be more present? Shut your phone off during dinner with family? Don’t be in a hurry all the time? List a couple of things you can commit to this week. _________________________________________________________________________________________
I hope these 7 strategies will bring you happiness, a new perspective in your life and how you want to live it.
When I decided to change careers later in life, I was afraid and I doubted myself all the time, but I kept moving forward because I knew I wanted to help ambitious women like you to:
Build your confidence.
Go against the grain. No more status quo.
Live the life you were meant to live.
To be someone who did something unique that you’re proud of.
Has experiences and adventure.
Kick Fear to the curb.
So…. what’s the moral of this story?
Happiness is a choice.
NOW…Go…..be happy. Make a movie, go back to school, find your dream job, leave that sucky relationship, run a marathon, hike a mountain, learn to scuba dive, go to the airport and pick a destination once you get there…
Do something, ANYTHING to give your life meaning, to make yourself feel alive, that makes you happy so one day you can tell your kids and grandkids about it or maybe write a book.
You won’t regret it. I promise.
With Gratitude and Love,
P.S. I’ve given you a lot to process. Your head is probably swimming with possibilities on how to put these changes in your life, and I bet you’re wondering what’s the best way to move forward. It’s a lot to take in all at once.
I can help you.
Sign up for a free 15 minute “Pinpoint My Happiness” discovery call and I’ll help you put together a game plan.
Click here to book your free 15 minute “Pinpoint my Happiness” call.
You’re about to change your life forever and your journey is just beginning.
Barbara Murphy-Shannon is a Professional Happiness Mindset Coach for Ambitious Women. Founder & CEO of BMS Coaching, a B2C and B2B coaching company specializing in providing our clients with the tools and guidance to be happy in life. Barbara has her Master’s in Psychology and a Graduate Certificate in Life Coaching from Grand Canyon University and over 30 years’ experience in the wellness, health and fitness industry. She lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with her husband, Mike, their son Austin and daughter Michela and their golden doodle, Jessie.
You can send Barbara an email and say “Hi” at